Clarity Alchemy: When Success is Your Only Option
Clarity Alchemy: When Success is Your Only Option was written for midlife women who are frustrated and stressed trying to continue living a life that no longer serves them, but basically anyone looking to create major lifestyle transformations will find effective, easy to use tools and techniques in this book.
Not sure if this is the right book for you, I have provided the Introduction from the book below to provide you with a sample of what the book is about.
This book is about change and transformation – big, life-altering transformations. You know the kind of transformations I’m referring to – leaving the security of a high-paying job to become an entrepreneur or to become a full-time university student; ending a long-term relationship because you and your partner no longer value the same things; selling off everything you own so you can become a solo nomad and travel the world.
Now, for a lot of people who undertake one of these major life transformations, there’s usually a safety net of some kind there for them if they should need it: they could return to the corporate world and become a salaried employee again; they might have family, friends, or even parents they could go to for physical or financial support until they’re back on their feet again. These kinds of options can take some of the risk, worry, and stress out of taking a gigantic leap of faith.
But not everyone has the luxury of a safety net to catch them if they don’t succeed at creating their big life transformation. For many people wanting to change their lives and create a lifestyle that’s in alignment with who they truly are, success is their only option. They become locked in a situation where, for whatever reason, they can’t remain where they are, but they can only leave if they know they’ll be successful. Corporate jobs aren’t as easy to obtain as they once were, parents may no longer be around to provide financial or physical support, friends and family members have their own families to focus on and are perhaps even trying to make their own transformations.
Chris (not her real name) was a client who came to me for life coaching a few years ago. As we talked, Chris started cataloguing the issues she thought she needed help with, areas of her life she thought were broken. As the list grew, a central thread began to appear: her life used to be awesome, but something had changed and things she used to love now just frustrated the life out of her. She was a professional earning a great salary, was well-educated, and, technically, had a fantastic office job working for a large organization. But she had no pension, no savings, would be 60 years old in a few years, and hated her job but couldn’t flat-out quit because she had bills and a mortgage to pay.
For Chris to create the life she desperately wanted, she needed to be successful at creating it. If she remained where she was, she would only continue to slide further and further into frustration and stress, and that was no longer a viable option for her. The only option she had was to successfully change her life – but to what?
The more Chris focused on how much she wanted to leave her job, how stressed and frustrated she was with her work world, the more things in the rest of her life also began to fall apart. She was focusing so much energy on what was wrong in her life that she had no energy left over to do anything about improving her life.
The amount of energy required to maintain a life that’s making you miserable can really be quite surprising. Whenever Chris looked at her future, all she could see stretching out in front of her for the next 30 to 40 years was stress, frustration, and poverty. That was completely unacceptable!
Chris knew she needed a change, and she kept trying to make it happen by reading self-help books, buying programs that promised to fix whatever was broken in her life, and going to coaches – hoping they could fix her, or at least provide her with the answers she needed in order to move forward. When those solutions failed to work, Chris ended up feeling more frustrated, more stressed, more focused on moving away from her problems, and far less clear about what she wanted.
When we focus on problems, frustrations, and failure, we attract more problems, frustrations, and failure into our lives. This is Law of Attraction 101: like attracts like. Which, by the way, is the main reason the subtitle for this book is When Success is Your Only Option instead of When Failure is Not an Option. You might be thinking right about now, But there are books and a popular movie with the title Failure is Not An Option, and this phrase is used all the time! Why is it a problem? We know what the phrase means. That’s true, but there’s an even better stance to take if you want to succeed.
One of the interesting things about our brains is that they can’t comprehend a negative. If I say to you, “Don’t think of a pink elephant,” what do you think of? For me, every single time I consider that question, I think of a pink elephant. And when you consider the phrase “failure is not an option,” what do you think of? What I think of is “failure blah blah option,” so the energy I end up focusing on, transmitting, and attracting is the energy of failure. That’s not exactly the energy I want to invite into my life.
The same was true for Chris as she kept thinking of her life as being full of problems that needed to be fixed. The energy she kept attracting into her life was problem energy – more problems and things that needed to be fixed. But Chris wasn’t broken, and she didn’t need to be fixed.
As Chris and I kept talking, it became obvious that there were things below the surface of her full awareness that she wanted in her life. She just hadn’t yet found a way to voice them, because she was so focused on what was going wrong with her life that she hadn’t taken the opportunity to explore her new desires.
According to social theory, sometime around mid-life, when we’re in our fifties, our goals, priorities, and desires change. We stop focusing so much on “what I need to do to support my family,” or “what’s in it for me?” and we take on more of a “how can I make a difference and serve others” attitude. We look for deeper meaning in our lives and a deeper sense of purpose and passion.
That’s what was happening to Chris. Her inner world of thoughts, values, desires, and dreams was no longer in alignment with her outer world – her current reality and her physical environment. Her desires had shifted away from building her career and making a better life for herself and her family, to the point where Chris was ready to move on to the next stage in her life, the stage where she got to follow her passion and her purpose (once she identified what they were) and create a new life. What was keeping her stuck in place was fear and anxiety around knowing it was an absolute necessity that any change she made had to be successful. Otherwise, she would put her financial security at risk.
Chris also needed to learn to trust herself again, to appreciate the fact that she was still achieving major successes in her job and personal life, even if she didn’t recognize those successes because they were tainted by the frustration and stress she was feeling.
Chris and I share a lot of similar characteristics. When I was in my late fifties, I became frustrated, stressed, and disillusioned with a lot of things that were going on, mostly centered around my job. I wasted a few years focusing on all the negative things I was feeling about my situation, dreaming about what it would be like to hand in my resignation and walk away from my job for the last time. As a budding Law of Attraction coach, I really should have known better.
Like Chris, I was working in a job that was draining the life out of me, and I was focusing on all of the negative things I had going. But a lot of the self-help books I was reading talked about the Law of Attraction and the idea of it appealed to me, even if making it work in my life seemed far out of reach. I decided to keep doing my job while training to be a Law of Attraction coach on the side. It seemed like a thread of hope and I followed it.
And then it happened! Due to budget cuts at work, my day job was one of five positions eliminated. I was living my worst nightmare: I received a limited severance package, but I had no savings or pension, and I had a mortgage and bills to pay. But I also suddenly had the time I needed for doing things that mattered to me and for focusing on successfully creating the life of my dreams.
I’ve written this book for Chris and others who are feeling completely stuck in a life that no longer serves them, but are paralyzed by a lack of faith in their own ability to successfully move forward through transformation.
This book is about leaps of faith, soft landings, and success. It’s about helping you regain a sense of who you are and what you’re capable of while you transition into greater alignment with your authentic self, your authentic passion, and your authentic purpose.
To help you achieve that, this book discusses a wide range of methods from traditional life coaching techniques to using intuition, Tarot, and Law of Attraction, to exploring core values and personal inventories – all to help you plot out your successes.
Lao Tzu once said, “At the centre of your being you have the answer; you know who you are and you know what you want.” If you’re ready to find your own answers for your authentic, read on!